May 2009 Club Meeting
By Trevor Harvey
The Midwood Story
by Gol McAdam
Gol McAdam states in the synopsis of her play (which is set in West Yorkshire in the late 1970's); 'Lesley Midwood, a middle aged factory worker and long time admirer and imitator of Al Jolson, gets the chance opportunity to sing in the local Clough Lane Working Men's Club. Her elderly mother favours her singing but her husband, Vince, is vehemently against it. In spite of his opposition, Lesley is adamant that she will sing. At the audition, she meets up with an old schoolmate - now a clapped out Tammy Wynette look-alike - who has performed as an impersonator but in retirement, only performs locally. The locals know her as Tammy and she is instrumental in revamping Lesley as Jolson. During this process, Lesley's husband leaves her to live with another woman, Sheila. Lesley's mother is the victim of a road accident, and Lesley and Tammy cement their friendship.
The play was well received by members who thought it cleverly constructed, with crisp dialogue and excellent characterisation throughout. One member felt that making the dream come true made it similar in tone to Billy Elliot and, as well as offering homage to the 1946 Jolson Story film, had provided a moving and uplifting ending
The economic - and very natural - dialogue flowed well, successfully matching the visual content. One member observed that there was evidence of an experienced writer at work (although we later discovered that this was Gol's first television script). Having a female as an Al Jolson impersonator also worked well. Music is certain to play an important part in any television presentation of the piece, providing not only background atmosphere but also re-enforcing the plays content. The club was well created and believable, with its cigar-puffing steward, Brian, and its concert secretary, Dave. There were delightful comic touches throughout, including a brief scene when Sheila's illicit love-making with Vince reached a soggy end because several packs of frozen food have defrosted in the back of his van. And even Vince's ferrets left (as always) in Lesley's safe keeping were given 'star' treatment as the plays credits rolled.
As the discussion progressed, there were only a few small criticisms. One member felt that having Vince hit Lesley for the first time during their long and troubled relationship seemed unconvincing - but most thought this would make a visually powerful moment at that point in the drama. Another suggested more was needed about Lesley's earlier life, to indicate sooner that she was a talented singer - but other members disagreed, feeling it was more effective to wait and discover this. One person wondered whether Lesley and Tammy were on the verge of a lesbian relationship and another had thought the ending might be a dream sequence. Everyone agreed that the play worked whatever the personal interpretation.
This play provided the club with a thoroughly enjoyable evening and it was a worthy winner of SPC's television drama competition, 2008. More please, Gol!
April 2009 Club Meeting
By Nicholas Quirke
The Retirement Party
by Ian Black
The comments this play provoked in the in the post reading discussion were complimentary about the quality of the writing and the eminence of the readers but the plot itself, was thought to be a little contrived.
The play is set in the bedroom of a recently retired couple, John and Wendy and for any of the members with partners; there was no doubting the authenticity of the situation and some of the conversations that ensued. There was a somewhat depressing familiarity to this vision of married life; the cycle of reading and sleeping, mundane conversations about what to do, the validity of each other's role, John demeaning Wendy, keeping each other awake with memories and nostalgia for time passed, what they were and what they will become.
But their thoughts are now on retirement and the positive outlook for the future. However this optimism is overshadowed by Wendy's stroke and subsequent imprisonment in a wheelchair from which she criticises and scolds John for his failures in coping without her during her illness.
It was felt by the audience that within this 'slice of life', there was something slightly awkward about the very naturalistic dialogue and the soliloquies from the characters that punctuated the play. There was a comment that it was slow to start and some comments on the lack of consistency in John's character. However, despite its rather bleak view, the audience agreed that this was a play with plenty of genuine humour and humanity.
March 2009 Club Meeting
By Giles Cole
BEHIND THE JUMP
by Geoff Erbes
Before the reading of this play we were informed that it had first seen the light of day as a six-part sitcom, and that the BBC had encouraged the writer to rethink it as a stage play and to re-examine the mechanics of making an audience laugh. Thus six potential storylines were put back into the cooking pot and served up as a coherent narrative. So far so good. The setting was clearly one which had first-hand experience of the writer as a pub manager, and the central relationships between the characters started out promisingly.
The play is set in the Lamb and Spoon and concerns the attempts of the publican Mo Trapp (read by Tim Blisset) and his ex-wife Stella (Patti Page) - who just happened to have run off with and subsequently married Mo's brother, thereby retaining the surname Trapp (a key plot point) - to outwit the new area manager Dickie Pratt (Rex Baker) who is out to foil Mo's various scams. Is there a hint here - Trapp/Pratt - of suggesting that these two arch enemies are in fact opposite sides of the same coin? Perhaps, but nothing much is made of it and the plot develops in an ever wilder series of coincidences involving another ex-wife/partner of Mo's (Cherie Cherchie) turning up to claim her due, a local gangster, Big Eddie (Dennis Evans at his most threatening) claiming his loot which just happens to have been left in Mo's pub, and so on. Just the stuff of sitcom but, unfortunately, not sustainable over a two-hour timeslot. The dramatic tension that was promised at the outset - particularly between Mo and his outrageously camp barman Rhona (Nick Quirke at his flounciest) - dissipated slowly until it was the plot mechanics involving a phantom fruit machine, a briefcase full of money and a pig bin, which kept things moving rather than any real interaction between the characters, interesting though they undoubtedly were. This was disappointing, as there was clearly a lot of comic mileage here and the BBC had spotted some genuine potential.
It is a salutary fact that many plays read by Sussex Playwrights have been devotedly worked on, sometimes for many years, by able writers who somehow never quite manage to get things into full dramatic shape. This was certainly the case here - a view supported by most of those present. Other opinions offered included the suggestion that the central character, Mo, suffered from being depicted as a mean-minded swindler without any saving graces. The writer's response was that he tried to lighten him up and give him a little human frailty by making him a failed womaniser, but this may not have been sufficient to endow him with any real warmth or sympathy. It was also pointed out that Rhona's staunch loyalty to Mo disappears halfway through, along with the fun of the character, and that there were too many stories being crammed in for good measure, making the plot too diffuse. All valid criticisms, valiantly accepted by the writer.
Perhaps we can hope that the whole exercise was at least useful and constructive even if the comments appeared negative at the time. There would certainly be no point in being overly kind in order not to offend. That way bottom drawers beckon! However, it is also true to say that this play contained some truly delicious comic ideas, my favourite being the ex-wife who turned up unexpectedly, missing presumed eaten by a crocodile.
February 2009 Club Meeting
by Bea Mitchell Turner
Undone.
by Judy Upton
Undone is an upbeat and amusing one Act play about a women, Celine, coming to terms with her all consuming phobia. The first scene reveals Celine (delightfully read with real animation and plausibility by Philippa Hammond) in a Psychologist's office, attempting to uncover the root of her phobic behaviour. It is a behaviour which causes Celine to live as a recluse; her only contact with normality is through the Internet - her particular affliction preventing even the most mundane of interactions with the outside world. The understanding and caring Psychologist (empathetically read by the talented Nick Quirke) attempts to get to heart of her disorder and, through hypnotherapy, release her.
The second scene is post-treatment and Celine is now coming to terms with life free of her psychological impediment and is even managing to have a date with a potential suitor David - read by Thomas Everchild whose transition from enthusiastic beau to extremely apprehensive victim was terrific.
Undone, is a well-crafted play with a simple and effective structure. The scenario is well set up, the dialogue is convincing and the slow 'reveal' as to what Celine's dysfunction is, is well-paced, humorous and engagingly delivered. In Scene 2, and the audience is now aware of her phobia, Ms Upton continues the humour by placing the central character in a potentially awkward situation and heightens the comedic tension by setting her at odds with David as to what they both desire as the outcome.
The audience was extremely receptive and in the discussion that followed made many appreciative comments. Trevor had seen the play performed and said it was brilliant when acted with well-placed twists and real suspense. A criticism of the play was that perhaps there was a short scene missing between Celine overcoming her obsession and arriving at her new fetish. Judy Upton explained that the play was an adaptation from a short film in which the transition of Celine's character is made more evident by filmic devices and establishing shots rather than dialogue.
The discussion led to a recounting of an improvisation around a scene not included in this reading, in which Celine is asking a taxi firm to send a driver who is not going to upset her phobia. Because of her specific clothing requirements as to what the taxi driver should wear the phone-call takes on an almost 'dirty' nature. The audience did seem to appreciate that a scene of that sort could add to the play but perhaps not in its current format. Overall it was felt that the play worked extremely well and the audience enjoyed it. The length was just right and to embellish the play would undo the charm and 'succinctness' of the action. Judy said that she would like to do something with the play but was not sure what. Thomas suggested making the play part of a portmanteau piece based around the psychologist and other clients with phobias. The audience felt there could be mileage in this approach.
January 2009 Club Meeting
by Fred Partridge
THERE CAME WISE MEN.
by Neil Mckeller
PATTI PAGE guided us through this traditional Nativity story, which was much as told to us in our childhood, but with the admirable idea of letting us see it from the viewpoint of the Magis' attendants. This could have given rise to some interesting master-servant pairings, but with nothing else new, the characters merely fell into three groups.
The Wise Men (RICHARD ALLDEN, TED McFADYEN & TREVOR HARVEY) came over as a trio of testy oldies being beastly to their employees, with nothing much to support their claims to wisdom.
The servants (NICK QUIRKE, REX BAKER & the AUTHOR) were better differentiated, but the chance was missed to create three really memorable characters who might have been made to seem far wiser than their masters. Their exchanges could also have been made much funnier without becoming irreverent.
Of the other characters, MICHAEL MORLEY's characterisation of Herod really came across, although he apparently found some of the lines he was given rather clumsy. DENNIS EVANS' Shepherd was brought in to describe how the news of the birth had been revealed to them. The other readers were JENNIE LEWORTHY, ANITA GILSON & BEA MITCHELL-TURNER, but I am afraid their part in the play, which included some doubling of roles, made very little impact, on me at any rate.
Overall, the piece was felt to lack dramatic force, and to be much too bland. The conversational passages needed to be broken up far more - the radio format gave plenty of opportunities for sound effects - the sheep were mentioned, and that more might have been made of the drumming.
The author suggested that such things might be left to the producer, but it should be remembered that in radio nowadays a play has to pass through the hands of a number of readers whose job is to scrutinise it, looking for reasons to reject it before it ever gets to a producer. For any other possible type of production there would need to be fewer characters, and probably for it to be made a little shorter.
Myself, I thought the play well enough written, but disappointing, since innumerable opportunities were missed to turn it into something new, interesting, exciting and relevant to our time.
December 2008 Club Meeting
'A Festive Foretaste'
32 members and guests braved the winter cold to celebrate the Christmas season with Sussex Playwrights' and their efforts were well rewarded. The hall looked suitably festive with the aid of some lovely table decorations created by Josephine Carter, and a fine spread of food and drink.
In a break from tradition there were no sketches written, performed and read by members. Instead we were treated to an evening of music, quizzing and seasonal readings.
The evening got off to a great start with a humorous and well read selection of literary treats from Jenny, Trevor, Bea and Rex. This was followed by an accomplished and inspiring performance by jazz musicians Imogen and Roderick with a medley of some familiar and some unfamiliar songs by Ray Noble.
Paul Moriaty spoke eloquently about writing for television and announced the Prize winners of our 2008 TV script competition and also presented Fred Partridge with his 2nd and 3rd place prize money.
After a fiendishly difficult brain teaser from Rex we broke for an interval of food and drink.
The festivities resumed with Nick's annual theatre quiz, which was won by Patti (Again!!!) , and more music from Imogen and Roderick. The entertainment for evening was rounded off with a further selection of slightly more serious seasonal readings from Dennis, Anita, Patti and Nick.
A great way to start the 2008 festivities.
November 2008 Club Meeting
by Geoff Erbes
Ye Gods!
by Lee Torrence
A rather small attendance sat on 9th November to, I gather, an eagerly anticipated return of another piece of work by Lee Torrance which afterwards was agreed to have been both humorous and well crafted.
Written for Radio some 3 or 4 years ago we got off to a funny start up in the clouds or heavens. Where an animated and mischievous Jupiter, (suitably voiced with god like flowing beard an all, by Denis Evans,) was hurling thunderbolts willy nilly down to a semi in suburbia, on poor old planet earth.
Caught in the act by his wife Juno, sublimely portrayed by Patti Page, Jupiter wriggled and squealed like a naughty school boy - (I'm sure was aptly aided by a god like echo machine or was it just Denis' vocal qualities?). Anyway, further questioning from Juno eventually revealed that old Jupiter was chasing his lost youth or hormones and portraying his new love for a mere mortal in the shape of long suffering Sheila down in Suburbia.
The play shot us down to earth where we eavesdropped on Sheila (Anita) visiting her very mundane partner Arthur (Giles). They were trapped indoors by a thunderstorm, with heavy rain which was intensified by the odd thunderbolt courtesy of jealous old Jupiter up above. Arthur's dialogue portrayed him as quite a boring individual, stuck in a mundane job with no prospects and little romance despite Sheila's attempts at conjuring up some passion whilst watching the rain beat against the window. We learnt of their many years together as a couple, but to Sheila's frustration, no signs of marriage yet.
Back up in Valhalla, Cupid (Nick Quirke) came to the ringside to act as Jupiter's second, pouring scorn on his unsuccessful attempts at even gaining Sheila's attention down on earth. Following Cupid's advice to get with it when attempting to make love to a mere mortal, Jupiter transcended to earth to make contact with the maiden of his desires.
Walking home after the thunderstorm, Sheila passed a small pond and was attracted to the majesty of a large swan that she had never noticed before. Unfortunately as the large swan approached her, flapping its huge wings to impress, Sheila took fright, only to be saved by a passing stranger who beat the wailing swan about the head with a handy stick.
Returning to Valhalla, poor old Jupiter is nursing his bruised head, whilst Cupid still pours scorn on his champion's feeble methods of courtship and duly advises he try a more personal touch as preferred by mortals down on earth. We return to Arthur's home where his sprightly mum, Mrs. Victor (Jenny) bemoans that after 4 years of courtship, her son has not yet married that nice girl Sheila. Meanwhile Cupid is offering more words of advice to Jupiter up above.
We move to where Sheila is babysitting alone and watching the TV, when a knock at the front door reveals Jupiter in the guise of a man who rather niftily is admitted to the front room where he extols compliments to Sheila and a friendly relationship are established.
Cupid defends his tactics to the ever watchful Juno, explaining that Jupiter is breaking all the rules and ignoring his advice, yet is inexplicably gaining mileage with his romantic endeavours towards the young mortal Sheila. So Juno decides to intervene, and sets about wooing the unromantic Arthur who is still unaware of his girlfriend's new friendship with a chap called Peter. Juno introduces herself as June at the tennis club and with her magical prowess enables the limp Arthur to discover hidden talent on court and soundly thrash the local Tennis ace.
Arthur is impressed with his new strength and likens to June as a taliswoman and their friendship also blossoms. He then is offered a new Job from the tennis sponsor for twice the money, things are looking up whilst in June's company.
Sheila confides in Arthur's mother that she is in love with someone else and it is only a matter of time before the audience realise that our two couples will collide at the forthcoming Dance. As these two romances are doomed to failure from the start a double exit is staged at the midnight hour when Sheila and Arthur realise their destiny is with each other.
Returning to Valhalla Jupiter is astonished to discover his wife's role in teaching him a lesson in mortal life and that Juno is after all his ideal partner and wife.
The audience were all happy with the characters, plot and storyline. The only small comment was that perhaps, in today's world, Peter / Jupiter would not have gained entry into the house where Sheila was babysitting with such ease and no valid ID. None the less, an entertaining story.
October Club Meeting
by John Brennen
Elizabeth and Jack
by Pat Jackson
An alien from another planet, eventually to be known as Elizabeth, Denise Boxall materialises on Earth as a human being in the first decade of the twenty-first century as part of a project devised by her mentor, Talyn, Dennis Evans. She is supposed to engage in earth studies and in particular to investigate humans and find out what makes them tick. Talyn's instruction to her was to study her peers but she soon confuses this with piers and, starting at Brighton, embarks on a tour of various piers where she becomes involved in a series of conversations with the people she meets on these piers in the belief that this is where conversations are held on Earth.
She asks Talyn to transmit some Earth money to her and, in the process of collecting that money from a rubbish bin, gets into a spot of bother with Jack, Nick Quirke, the rubbish collector and only extricates herself from this situation by agreeing to treat him to lunch. As a cover, she pretends to be a student doing a project on piers and when she meets Jack for a second time, he gives her a list of all the piers in Great Britain - taken from the internet - and advises her to try Eastbourne Pier next, which she does,
When she meets Jack again, on the beach this time, he confesses that he is not really a rubbish collector but a teacher and offers to help with her project. Her mentor, Talyn, advises her not to get involved but this is easier said than done as Elizabeth has become intrigued by the fact that she is beginning to experience human feelings herself such as - dare we say it - love?
She now begins an alphabetical tour of all the piers in
Jack now begins to adopt a more protective attitude to her and they embark on a quite surreal round of B & B experiences on the Isle of Wight, at the end of which Jack declares his affection for her but she tells him their love can never be. They return to the mainland and, being pressed by Talyn with the threat of an immediate recall from Earth before it is too late and confused by her own feelings, she breaks off her relationship with Jack, dematerialises and transports herself to Llandudno, Jack's home town. Jack catches up with her in Llandudno and while he again declares his love for her, he is confused by her ability to reach his home town so quickly.
Some people thought the play was fresh, original and entertaining while at least one member thought it perhaps needed more jokes. There was some discussion as to whether the distinction between peer and pier was defined clearly enough and that we perhaps needed more details about Elizabeth herself. There was also a feeling that the Talyn character could have been developed a bit more and that while there were some amusing touches, perhaps the play itself was a bit too long and there were too many abrupt fades on the background voices - while one member thought that those background voices were very good, almost poetic. Overall, members felt that reaction and inter-reaction in the dialogue was good.
September Club Meeting
by Fred Partridge
Dressed to Perfection
by Dawn Rowlands
by Trevor Harvey
Dear Wendy
by John Brennen
When the play opens, Ken Carpenter and his wife (Wendy) are at a quality restaurant waiting for his boss (Bruce) and his wife, (Miranda) to join them. We learn that Ken is soon to retire from his post a chief accountant and that he has arranged this intimate 'celebration' meal, before the formal farewell which is due to take place a week later. Among items of information, we discover that a young female called Lacey will be taking over as chief accountant, that Ken and Wendy are not suited to one another and that the less refined Wendy is not keen to spend an evening in the company of 'that cow' Miranda. Through a series of inner monologues, interspersed from Ken throughout the play, we gradually learn the real purpose for the dinner party.
Ken's monologue (writing a letter to Wendy earlier in the day) reveals that he is aware his wife has been constantly unfaithful to him- 'How many betrayals? I would like to add things up, to make the books balance' - and that for some time, she has been having a relationship with Bruce. Ken has chosen the restaurant on purpose because it is the place where he knows Bruce and Wendy have previously met. Gradually, we discover that ken is secretly planning to leave Wendy that same evening and that he and Miranda are in love, both despising their less acceptable partners. Halfway through the meal, Miranda excuses herself (to attend a prior engagement). Soon after that, Ken also leaves the restaurant (to make a 'business call' on his mobile) and fails to return - leaving Bruce with both the restaurant bill and with Wendy.
On discovering the truth, Wendy is in a panic and decides she wants to live with Bruce - but it's clear Bruce is tired of her and already has plans to take young Lace, the new chief accountant on a 'business trip' to America. We learn from Ken that Lacey's qualifications are fraudulent, which is the final twist of the knife. Ken and Miranda sail off to enjoy a new life together, in contrast to the debris that they leave behind.
In the discussion that followed the reading, it was felt the play would work as a radio piece and that the characters were well differentiated. John Brenenn had provided a humorous and workable plot, which (although sometimes predictable) contained several good twists and turns. However, a couple found Bruce's language was dated at times - and the dialogue would benefit from being crisper and shorter, as sometimes points were repeated. As a radio play, most felt it would benefit from cuts to bring its length to the more usual 30 or 45 minutes. For example several thought the foreign waitress was an unnecessary character, Ted McFadyen disliking the humour at her expense. And, just by way of general information, Thomas Everchild stated that the BBC now has a limit of five actors for its afternoon plays.
Initially, I felt the play could have ended when Bruce and Wendy found Ken's letter - but certainly their reactions afterwards brought humour and renewed life to the piece. A visitor particularly liked the inclusion of Ken's monologue whilst writing his letter to Wendy and thought perhaps this device could be used more often (but at shorter length) throughout the play. Finally the readers, Ted Mcfadyen, Pippa Hammond, Nick Quirke, Thomas Everchild, Anita Gilson and in particular
July 27th Club Meeting
by Michael Rowlands
The Urban Robinson Crusoe
by Des
There were a fair number of guests and visitors in the audience, to listen to Des Marshall's three act play, which he had adapted from his autobiographical novel. Eleven short scenes depicted the tribulations of Crusoe, a self confessed loner, who complained that people regarded him as 'invisible'. His alter ego, Robinson, dispensed criticism and advice. At the end of Act One, Crusoe's nephew, Gus, descended on him, but Crusoe couldn't be bothered with him and fled to
Staying with his friend Jane, Crusoe enjoyed a new freedom in
The final act was set in a hospital ward, where Gus was recovering from a suicidal (?) fall. There was much heart searching, and after a crisis, Gus recovered and Robinson persuaded Crusoe to do the decent thing and look after him. Crusoe's final journal entry emphasised the need for 'love'.
The standard of reading was very good. Michael Morely and Dennis Evans playing Robinson and Crusoe Respectively, with Josephine Carter reading the stage directions. Nick, Anita, Denise and Pippa took the other roles.
The play generated a lot of discussion, about the relationships and contrasting personalities of Crusoe and Robinson, Crusoe's roller coaster moods of optimism and pessimism, and the rather maternal attitude of Robinson. The comments then drifted into a conversation about the author's portrayal of typical
There was little outright criticism of the play, which was a study of a case of self obsession. Most of us thought that the use of two characters, Robinson and Crusoe, to illustrate this was an interesting device. However I felt that the plot was thin, and there was little variation in pace. Despite a few good lines, the situation did not provide any real dramatic impact, and I wonder whether this subject was really suitable for a stage play.